i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize