someone get that fucking seahorse.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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