does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize