so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
