I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
