3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
