so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
you never un-have a 4some
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