I want to have your abortion
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
