I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Life is so much better after having sex.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
