Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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