I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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