She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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