Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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