Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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