My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
