I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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