the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize