I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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