sorry about calling you the devil all night.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
