Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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