so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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