do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
