But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
