What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize