Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
