If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
