My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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