No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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