I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
