if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
