i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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