Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize