Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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