I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
