dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My cat gives me a boner
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize