i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
