Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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