I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My vagina is officially offended.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
