so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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