just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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