And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
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I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's paint friendship bongs
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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