return my video game
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
