Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
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the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
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He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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