My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
