Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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