dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
