just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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