I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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