no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
