woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
