Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend