And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dignity is for republicans.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
