HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
