do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
