and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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