I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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