do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
