Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
